is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
