I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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