he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
