I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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