woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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