Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
