she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
