Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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