carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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