He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
