There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
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