I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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