You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Let the clothes fall where they may.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
