I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
