would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
