I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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