She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
