i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So vagazzling was a success
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize