"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
