Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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