i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
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It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
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I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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