you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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