I heard we made out
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Dicks are not precious.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
