You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
