I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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