she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
