Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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