Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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