Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
