I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
