We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
