i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
