it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
