Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
