I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
