Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
