if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
