Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize