that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Dick very happy bro
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
