Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
