It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Text me some of your sweat
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