Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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