sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.