Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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