i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
