Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We need to know if his feet match his cock.