I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!