he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
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Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas