Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it.... http://tfl.nu/mny7
  Replies (14) Good night (729) Bad night (2119)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.

  (1-765): View more from Indiana

  yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker. (1-765): yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married. http://tfl.nu/4wae
  Replies (21) Good night (724) Bad night (2546)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I proposed and she said yes man.

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): I proposed and she said yes man. (1-425): You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right? http://tfl.nu/wbvk
  Replies (25) Good night (5795) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines http://tfl.nu/1cpi
  Replies (9) Good night (1435) Bad night (2649)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!" http://tfl.nu/ih8w
  Replies (24) Good night (4134) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree. http://tfl.nu/wbc5
  Replies (86) Good night (9261) Bad night (4407)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again. http://tfl.nu/ehlu
  Replies (20) Good night (6124) Bad night (864)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job? http://tfl.nu/emh8
  Replies (10) Good night (2675) Bad night (1012)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break. http://tfl.nu/ad1k
  Replies (16) Good night (2332) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std? http://tfl.nu/jhp0
  Replies (17) Good night (1382) Bad night (3307)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out. http://tfl.nu/bpyp
  Replies (14) Good night (664) Bad night (1717)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid. http://tfl.nu/45so
  Replies (11) Good night (2507) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water http://tfl.nu/d1ur
  Replies (5) Good night (1555) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury. http://tfl.nu/d7aw
  Replies (8) Good night (487) Bad night (893)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer. http://tfl.nu/d3xk
  Replies (3) Good night (644) Bad night (251)

Randomize