Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..

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(212): I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York.. http://tfl.nu/qpq0

Replies (13) Good night (3057) Bad night (603)
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(415): View more from California

I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?

(510): View more from California

I hope so

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(415): I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die? (510): I hope so http://tfl.nu/tt2l

Replies (41) Good night (2219) Bad night (5236)
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(+64): View more from New Zealand

apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.

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(+64): apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing. http://tfl.nu/xl08

Replies (36) Good night (4286) Bad night (680)
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(979): View more from Texas

Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?

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(979): Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"? http://tfl.nu/w79j

Replies (148) Good night (6128) Bad night (1217)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.

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(307): first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester. http://tfl.nu/skng

Replies (14) Good night (6044) Bad night (1162)
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(905): View more from Ontario

I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd

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(905): I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd http://tfl.nu/je1e

Replies (6) Good night (1043) Bad night (2120)
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(404): View more from Georgia

You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.

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(404): You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised. http://tfl.nu/0upx

Replies (2) Good night (2223) Bad night (1105)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?

(1-479): View more from Arkansas

If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area

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(479): Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius? (1-479): If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area http://tfl.nu/19ec

Replies (10) Good night (1932) Bad night (689)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi

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(321): Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi http://tfl.nu/jeyc

Replies (3) Good night (546) Bad night (1028)
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(313): View more from Michigan

Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?

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(313): Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing? http://tfl.nu/tcaq

Replies (4) Good night (754) Bad night (675)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?

(231): View more from Michigan

Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.

(401): View more from Rhode Island

I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.

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(401): Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here? (231): Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds. (401): I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window. http://tfl.nu/vqmu

Replies (0) Good night (978) Bad night (327)
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(636): View more from Missouri

I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.

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(636): I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic. http://tfl.nu/a1yu

Replies (1) Good night (882) Bad night (285)
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(407): View more from Florida

We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.

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(407): We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore. http://tfl.nu/jkjf

Replies (2) Good night (664) Bad night (541)
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(703): View more from Virginia

If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something

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(703): If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something http://tfl.nu/ij26

Replies (1) Good night (376) Bad night (340)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley

(502): View more from Kentucky

C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB

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(502): I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley (502): C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB http://tfl.nu/2ahg

Replies (3) Good night (720) Bad night (205)

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