he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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