what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over