hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling