we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.