Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
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dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
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He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question