I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.