i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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