I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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