I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
