i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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