No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
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