dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me