let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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