Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom said you looked used
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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