alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
