I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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