A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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