Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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