and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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