Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
