i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
