he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
