arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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