how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
