it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
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I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
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The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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