she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
