dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
