Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
