Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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